Yes, seekers! X-Day, July 5th, the date of cosmic deliverance for all SubGeniuses, is zooming up on us! Get ready to board the Xist pleasure saucers with this soothing soundtrack...It begins with a parody of a WREK staple, the EARTH & SKY bit--then grab yer ankles, because this is a preview of what's in store for us all in just a few short weeks! Our off-planet future is deliciously delineated by a stellar host of luminaries, including...
The ever-swinging Frank Sinatra! Donovan and his "Intergalactic Laxative"! A lyrical, goosebump-inducing soprano song "Someday I'll Walk among the Stars" from UP WITH PEOPLE, of all places--a song that will finally wipe that goddamned horrible "Gimme God Blues" song out of my head from three weeks ago! A kids' album version of STAR TREK narrated by an old guy who sounds like he's wearing dentures! A bit of that addled dingbat Uriel and her mushmouthed "Greens, Frens!" salutation! Crazy redneck abductees sitting around the trailer explaining to a too-sympathetic interviewer exactly WHAT the aliens are doing with all those inbred love children they've harvested from hillbilly ova! And two songs by The Tinklers--one of which, titled "Randy," is the most heartbreakingly accurate testament of what cosmic deliverance means to the typical teenaged SubGenius: "I'm not from here, I'm from spaaaaace...!"
YES, SEEKERS! It's time to start thinking HARD about it--because EVERY DAY BRINGS US CLOSER TO X-DAY!!!
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